Lessons from Elephants and how to apply them to your life

When you spend time with Elephants in the wild you learn more about yourself than you could imagine

There is something almost ancient in the way elephants move through the world. When you stand in front of one in the wild, you feel it immediately. The slow sway of their walk, the hush of their breath, the deep time in their eyes. It feels like the earth is speaking in a language your body remembers even if your mind does not.

Every time I meet an elephant, I am reminded that nature is not here to entertain us. It is here to teach us. To mirror us. To gently bring us back home to the parts of ourselves we keep forgetting.

At Women in the Wilderness, elephants have become some of our greatest mentors. They do not rush. They do not perform for approval. They do not try to fit into anyone’s expectations. They simply live. Fully, calmly and unapologetically. They show us that real power is quiet and real softness is brave.



Below are a few of the lessons I have gathered from the herds, from the African bush, and from my own journey of healing and reclaiming myself. I share them with you in the hope that they soften something in you too.

1. Elephants Know When to Be Strong and When to Be Soft

Elephants are not always powerful giants. Sometimes they are playful, clumsy youngsters who trip over their own trunks. Sometimes they are tender mothers who use their trunks to guide and soothe. Sometimes they are protectors who stand firm when danger comes.

Their strength is fluid. It stretches and shifts with what life asks of them.

Many women are taught that we must choose. We must be soft or strong, sensitive or capable, emotional or dependable. But elephants live in the full spectrum. They show us that strength does not disappear when softness appears. Softness is part of the strength.

Life coaching reminder: Allow yourself to be a woman who can adapt. You are not meant to live in one emotional shape. Flexibility is part of resilience.

2.They Move in Community Because Strength is Not a Solo Journey

Elephants follow the wisdom of matriarchs. These leaders are older females who have lived through storms, droughts, threats and blessings. The herd trusts them because they lead from lived experience.

But even the matriarch is not alone. She is surrounded by sisters, aunties and elders who support her. Elephants do not believe in solitary survival. Their safety and their courage come from connection.

This mirrors everything I believe about women’s healing. My own story included. Growing alone is exhausting. Healing alone feels impossible. When women find each other, something shifts. Something strengthens. Something softens.

Elephants remind us that we are not supposed to carry everything by ourselves. Support is not a weakness. It is a resource.

3. They Remember Their Past but They Do Not Let It Rule Their Future

Elephants are famous for their memory. They remember waterholes decades later. They remember people who harmed them and people who helped them. They remember landscapes like they were written in their bones.

But here is what I love. Their memory is not something that traps them. It guides them.

This sits very close to my own heart. Like many women, I grew up with painful stories that were handed to me long before I had a chance to know myself. I carried them for years. Stories of not being enough. Stories that crushed the spirit instead of nurturing it.

Elephants teach us that remembering is not the same as reliving. You can acknowledge your past without drowning in it. You can understand what shaped you and still choose who you want to become next.



Life coaching reminder: You are allowed to rewrite your story. Awareness is powerful but choice is transformative.

4. Elephants Know How to Rest and They Do It Without Apology

If you have ever watched an elephant nap, you will never forget it. They flop over like giant toddlers and fully surrender to the earth. There is no guilt in their rest. No self judgement. No inner voice asking if they have earned the right to lie down.

Meanwhile most women feel guilty for sitting down for five minutes.

Rest is not a reward. Rest is a requirement. Elephants understand this instinctively. Their bodies cannot thrive without it and neither can ours.

When women come on retreat, one of the first breakthroughs they experience is the realisation that rest heals the parts of them they have been ignoring. Rest creates clarity. Rest reduces overwhelm. Rest restores confidence. And none of this requires permission.

If elephants rested like women do, they would not survive a week. Let yourself absorb that truth.

5. Elephants Take Up Space Without Shrinking Themselves

When an elephant walks through the bush, the landscape shifts around them. Branches bend. Dust rises. Birds lift into the air. They make space simply by being themselves.

Women are often taught to do the opposite. Be smaller. Be quieter. Be agreeable. Do not take up too much room. But elephants show us a different truth. Existing fully is not a burden. It is a gift.

Taking up space is not about dominance. It is about presence. It is about standing in your truth. It is about allowing your voice, your needs, your desires and your boundaries to matter.

The world adjusts when a woman steps into her full self. Just like the bush adjusts around an elephant.

6. Elephants Feel Deeply and They Still Keep Moving

Elephants grieve in ways that are both heartbreaking and beautiful. They stand together in silence. They touch the bones of those they lost. They mourn as a community. Then when the time is right, they walk on.

They do not rush their feelings. They also do not freeze in them. This is emotional wisdom at its finest.

Many women fear being overwhelmed by their own emotions. But elephants teach us that feeling does not weaken you. It grounds you. It connects you. It helps you release what no longer needs to be carried.



Healing is not the absence of pain. Healing is the ability to move forward with a softer, wiser heart.

5 Quick and Simple Elephant Inspired Lessons You Can Use Today

1. Take one decision today that honours your softness or your strength.

Say no, say yes, rest, cry, speak up or set a boundary. Choose the expression you need most.

2. Ask for help from one trusted person.

Let community hold you instead of carrying everything alone.

3. Replace one old story with one new truth.

For example, change I am too much into I am allowed to take up space.

4. Schedule 15 minutes of guilt free rest.

Tea, sunshine, a nap or a quiet pause. Rest like an elephant and let your body soften.

5. Walk like an elephant for one moment today.

Shoulders back. Slow your breath. Own the ground beneath you. Feel your presence expand

Women come to the wilderness thinking they are here to see animals. But the deeper truth is that nature helps them see themselves. Elephants especially. They reflect who we are when we stop performing and start belonging.